Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Last Name Lesbian...

When referring to the word "lesbian" one would define a lesbian as a woman who is sexually attracted only to women.  This socially constructed word was formed on the basis of male oppression.  Titling someone as a lesbian continues to promote male superiority in order to diminish women being equal to men.  This view of lesbianism is from my feminist perspective which aims to promote equality of choice for all women, without being dictated by men.  On the other hand, when referring to someone as a lesbian from my personal perspective which is influenced by my upbringing, a light bulb instantly  pops up, as if I must hesitate to speak on it. 

 My understanding of lesbianism and its place in society has been looked down upon.  With my Christian upbringing being a lesbian is considered wrong based on the bible promoting only man and woman relationships.  This is still my belief for the sexual relationships for human beings, but I vow to never discriminate people whose sexual orientations differ from mine.   

After reading "The Woman-Identified Woman" by Radicalesbians I found the generally accepted definition of lesbian to be inadequate.  I do believe that a lesbian is attracted to only women, but I also believe we can expand the definition of lesbianism farther than only that.  I believe lesbians are risk takers who are free to follow their hearts in the face of social oppression.  Being in a battle of being accepted by society versus going against the grain and having an "unacceptable" sexual orientation is the daily challenge for lesbians.  This challenge doesn't only occur in the life of lesbians.  It is also the challenge of women as a whole.  Women are constantly aiming to be accepted in today's society.  The socially acceptable view of a woman is to be a nurturer, specifically to a man and her family.  This does have its place, but a woman who chooses to be her self without being linked to a man she is looked down upon.  So the woman who is a lesbian and the independent woman are both on the opposite ends of the "norm."  In order to be accepted it seems like a man has to be in the equation in some fashion.  

With these thoughts I somehow drifted to the concept of the inheritance of the male last name.  In my opinion accepting the male last name is an official union between a man and woman, which is desirable.  What about the woman who is married with the hyphenated name for example Jones-Martin?  Typically society looks at this formation as if the woman runs the relationship because she chose her maiden name in addition to her husbands.  When I think about it, I could see why a woman wants her last name attached to her husbands.  There is a feeling of pride that comes with the name that you were inherited.  Who is to say if only having the male name is correct or a hyphenated name being looked down upon?  Overall we are oppressed by a male dominated society.  Until we try to escape from identifying with the oppressor, classifications will continue to arise.  

2 comments:

Unknown said...

On the topic of last names, my husband and I both hyphenated our names (and the names of our two boys) in order to maintain identity AND reflect our union. Our kids can decide what they want to do when they marry/commit, but I especially like the idea of each partner choosing their own "side" of the hyphen.

You might be interested to know that I am working professionally to help people choose last names and I advocate for careful consideration of all options. New arrangements such as combining names, choosing a totally new last name of special significance, and using a woman's maiden name for the whole family are being utilized. See www.NameCounsel.us.

Best,
Kelly Utt-Grubb

Feminist Theorist said...

What's important to remember is that it wasn't always the case that lesbians were discriminated against. It depends on the society, where and when it is located as well.