Westernization

I found Uma Narayan's article very interesting, I thought it was interesting how she spoke about the changing of the times with her grandmother being married at thirteen and her mother being married at twenty-one years of age both products of arranged marriages themselves. I wondered if her grandmother also underwent verbal abuse from her mother-and-law and if so why these women continue to treat each other in such ways. When I was researching bridal burnings in India while I was in high school I remember reading that many of the young brides' deaths were attributed to the matriarchs, these women would often trick their young daughter-in-laws and lure them to their deaths. If these women spoke out about the way they were being treated, they were often beaten by their husbands as punishment for speaking out about their husband's mothers. I thought to myself as a mother how could I force my daughter into such a life style and then become upset with her once she rebelled against me. This idea of silence is found in so many third world countries, it seems kind of childish to me; as a daughter-in-law you are to endue pain and mistreatment and once you become a mother-in-law it becomes your turn to oppress. What's the point? I was always raised to believe that once you are married, two become one, and you share each others problems, so I know that if my mother-in-law was causing me grief, I would tell my husband and expect him to do something about it. I guess it then becomes a question of who is more important; your wife or mother? But is it right to force someone to make that choice?