Willie Mae Clark...RIP

In reading both Audre Lorde's pieces entitled "A Burst of Light: Living With Cancer" and "Breast Cancer: Power vs Prothesis," I couldn't help but think about my aunt. She died twelve years ago this past January of breast cancer. Because I was young at the time, I do not recall very much of her struggle with breast cancer however I do recall a specific moment when I was at her house following her diagnosis and subsequent battle with cancer. I'm going to assume she was talking to my father in her room (she was his sister). I cannot recall if the door was closed or not but somehow I managed to enter the room. I do not know the specifics of the conversation but they are not relevant to this post. The purpose of this story is that when I entered my aunt's room it was the first, and quite possibly the only time I ever say my aunt without a wig on following the loss of her hair as a result of chemotherapy treatments. When they realized I had entered the room, my aunt quickly put on her wig before pulling me onto her bed. I haven't thought of that moment probably since my aunt died but reading Lorde's account of how she was supposed to potentially sacrifice her comfort for the sake of "office morale" called the memory forth. I do not know if my aunt had her breasts removed but my gut instinct is telling me she did. Regardless, her immediate move to place a wig on her head to seemingly ensure my comfort made me wonder about how many women wear wigs or prosthetic breasts to make society comfortable with their bodies when they may in fact have accepted their new bodies without hair and/or breast (s). Because I was young, as stated above, I cannot tell you what emotions I felt upon seeing my aunt, who had always maintained a healthy head of hair, without any but I know it was not fear. I would like to believe it was more intrigued shock. I knew in my heart this woman was my aunt and the person I was looking at resembled my aunt...only different. So it was simply a matter of assessing/accepting the difference and moving on. Reading these small pieces of Lorde's battle with cancer opened my eyes to the battles women face with society once they've fought their battle with cancer. Because society is sooo quick to tell a woman what is best for her without even asking what she believes is best for herself, many women subject themselves to uncomfortable even health hazardous procedures in an effort to appease society's discomfort with their identities. To change this, I believe society needs to look at these women similar to the same way I saw my aunt that one time. The fact that these women have had physical alterations to their appearances does not change the people they were before cancer so simply accept the difference, respect their decisions for their bodies...and move on.