Casulties of War

In the Cancer journals, Audre Lorde candidly expressed her undergone turmoil after her mastectomy. I was surprised to learn of the trials she faced within the confines of the cancer facilities. I was instantly pierced with sadness for her when she spoke about the doctors refusing her the right to cope in a more totallistic way and instead by getting a prosthetic breast. Their disregard for her feelings, emotions, welfare, and rights as a person were nothing short of heteronormative structures that are designed to suppress anything that steps out of that exclusive category that we all must fit in. It baffles me to see that even women look at their sisters and subject them to the harsh structures designed by male oppressions that were never in our favor to begin with. The American Cancer Society and Research was negligent in their recovery piece. When was it ever healthy to cope with pain by overcompensation and replacement? In every psychology journal, textbook, and study the number one hurdle to overcome is denial and must be resisted for personal development and recovery, knowledge understood at least by all professionals. But when women are in search for health they are anomalous subjects that mustn't disturb the morale of the office. Are cancer patients recovering from breast amputation not considered in this theory? Its as if their pain, new found hope, and body transition is trivialized and they must be treated like children like when a little boy or girl loses a toy and to pacify them their parents immediately hand them another one as if they are too feeble minded to realize they are without their original. Also, this concept of womanhood being defined by appearance only is immensely problematic but it is not until more women like Audre Lorde activate the demand for revering women totally instead of dissecting her according to perceived beauty. I loved when she eloquently asserted the unjust contrast between herself and prime minister Moishe Dayan highlighting that they in fact were not too different in regards to their societal defined "handicaps" one being without an eye and the other a breast; however, they were accepted differently because the prime minister's scar was a result of the warrior in him and the ability to defeat war while Audre Lorde was constantly told to hide her scar as if her fight was less significant. Such association demonstrates the interconnection of what is true and what is believed, or our epistemology, possessed by our exclusive society and how unlikely we are to embrace everyone. The parallel between Dayan and Lorde is based on patriarchy, male privilege, and male heroism while dismissing women as they are often made to feel like the "mules of the world". I feel that too often woman are viewed as the trophy piece or the compliment to a man; therefore, when her "beauty" is altered she is left worthless since she no longer has anything to contribute or satisfy her man. Again, why is it that our appearances define our worth or how we should be valued? Does her spirit, health, intelligence, emotions, interests, passion, talent, love and undefined uniqueness at all matter? I thought about this during Easter when my family constantly remarked on my hair, clothes, shoes, and smile. How mature of a style I had developed and how beautiful I am. I heard it so much that at dinner I just asked them to stop! Not once did anyone ask me about why I had been so quiet, how I was coping with the loss of my friend, how I have transitioned into a new major, why did I change, what are my new experiences, how my community service was that I was so passionate about, nothing at all. I was so frustrated and asked them if all they thought of me was this pretty face in an empty suit...while they all were shocked and of course said that they loved me and cared about all of me I began to wonder how this affects my other sisters struggling daily just to have their realities minimized to this fading, one dimensional beauty. What I am saying is that we as people must be less concerned with appearance and focus on the true beauty of individuals so other people don't feel like they must hide their scars because by doing so we are forcing them to hide themselves.....
“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” Audre Lorde