In reading "Contesting Cultures: 'Westernization,' Respect for Cultures, and Third-World Feminists from Dislocating Cultures: Identities, Traditions, and Third World Feminisms" by UmaNarayan I took note of the anecdote she provides from her childhood:
"I remember my mother saying, 'What sort of girl are you to talk back like that to your father?'and my thinking, 'But his reprimand was not deserved, and he will not listen to me, and she will not even let me speak" (544).
I related this to African-American culture which suggests to children in general that they should speak when spoken to, mind their elders, and watch their tongues. Although I can understand these lessons are taught with the intent of instilling respect in children, while young black boys will grow up and because they are men can disregard these traditions, what becomes of young black girls? We are in a privileged position to be attending an institute for higher learning, especially one that acknowledges and addresses women's issues so passionately. However, for young black girls not in our position, who were taught when and where their voices were ever relevant, if at all, when they grow older, is is possible for them to grow out of these lessons and into their own voices? How many girls like Narayan are conscious that they do not deserve to be reprimanded but are further reprimanded for speaking up? Realizing there are negative consequences associated with women speaking up, they will eventually refrain from utilizing their voice, and if that happens, what can we do?
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3 comments:
I totally agree. I remember my grandmother always telling me not to "talk back" but never so much my parents. Regardless, most of the time though it wasn't even a matter of talking back but rather trying to understand and get further clarification on whatever it was that she was talking about. I feel especially relating to my grandmother because she's a little "old school" even when it comes to situation today that she has much more of a "don't let white people see you doing this" or don't let "white people have this type of opinion of you if you ever want to get anywhere." When it comes to having a Western society I feel that's what twe live in and unfortunately there are things that we as black women are going to have to do and succumb to even when we are against it to get ahead... what do you think?
When reading this, I also related it to my childhood and the way adults felt that they could speak to me as they pleased because I was a child and could not go "toe to toe" with them.
My family (I was raised by 4 strong black women) taught me to be very expressive. Not to the point of being disrespectful (well at times I may have been), but expressive in my language. In our home it was alright to be expressive but out side of our home I was often reprimanded for "talking back" or challenging their authority. To me it was just... That adult is wrong and someone should tell them they are wrong. I may have been small, but I was smart and knew wrong from right.
It was so frustrating. Even now, as a young adult I still cannot say what I please, but I am allowed to be more vocal with my opinions. I can slowly recognize their attempt to allow me to express myself as an adult. All of a sudden they realize I am intelligent and I actually make sense when I'm talking! :) I'm learning to still be respectful while maintaining my individuality.
I wanted to agree with your statement. When I went to Ghana, I was a volunteer at a primary school. Children were not encouraged to talk or ask teachers questions. I really believe that children's creative and critical thinking should be promoted. I really saw the pedagogy of the oppressed. Children's artistic expression was limited. There were no pictures or drawings on the school's walls. I believe that self-expression is important to children in the development of their personalities. The silence of children can be compared to the silence of women from third world. Teachers speak for the children similarly to how Western feminists speak for or behalf the third world feminist. It is important that third world women speak for themselves in self expression.
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